A most satisfied customer

Having always been the one to wait patiently (all my thirty-something life) to be asked out, I found myself taking a leap of faith and made an attempt at being an ‘asker’ as opposed to an ‘askee’ for a change.  Well, it wasn’t much of a question rather than a request (or possibly a demand).  No eye-contact or verbal communication needed, making the whole process lot easier; the written word was the appropriate approach given the location!

Rewind 30 minutes earlier.  I was browsing the bookshelves of a well-known shop for a city guide for my forthcoming trip to Valencia, when I noticed to the right of me a rather devilishly good-looking sales assistant.  So engrossed was I in hunting for this city guide that I almost missed out on this hunk of a man! I casually called out for help in locating this sought-after book and he tried his best to locate it for me (bless him).  Distracting me with his chiselled looks and hands the size of dinner plates however, I almost forgot what I was looking for and set this handsome creature with another task at hand:

“Do you have Lady Chatterly’s Lover?” I asked. Damn, why on earth had I requested that?  He persevered in his search for said book, looking it up on the computerised system but it failed to come up (now, now, stop it, you dirty-minded folk).  Well, I certainly wasn’t going to leave empty handed.  I had to exchange something with this fine specimen even if it wasn’t going to be saliva.

“I’ll take this”.  It was titled ‘Of Love and Hope’ – a celebration of all aspects of life and love.  “I’m feeling poetic”.  Urg, corny wasn’t the word!  Still, I am sure I can put this book of poems into good use, reciting romantic verses while lying in bed next to beautiful man after our all night love-making session.  Back to reality, I purchased said book, exchanged pleasantries and exited the shop. 

Outside the shop, it was go for broke time.  I scribbled my name, number and a simple ‘Call me’ on the back of the receipt of my recent purchase.  I walked straight back into the shop and, having noticed that he was away from the counter assisting some other poor soul in searching a book of love (or pursuing him more likely),  I shoved the note under his keyboard at the counter and dashed out faster than you can say ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?

So, my theory is:  the customer is always right and the right thing to do as a customer was to go back in there and ensure that the customer leaves completely satisfied, right?!  And not only is the customer right and satisfied, but she got a text from bookshop man that very evening!

Customer service at its best! J

10 Signs Your Online Date Could Be The Real Deal

Online dating can be a mindfield.  How do you separate the genuine from the dud ones?  No straight answer there, just make sure you have your intuition hat on.

But there are some great ones out there, right?  Marriages have been known to form from online dates! So when dating someone, how do you know he could be the real deal?  You don’t have friends to veto them out, no work colleagues to give you the low down, and you only know so much from google-ing them (By the way – thank god for Linkedin!).  So here are some signs to look out for that he could be a keeper:

1.     He pays for the first three dates.   Of course, you should always offer but a gentleman wants to appear chivalrous and make a great first impression.

2.     He doesn’t flinch when you mention the following words: weddings, marriage, babies, engagements, commitment, homeowner, love, romance, long-term and serious.

3.     You talk about things you like and he agrees with you.  Even better, he talks about things he likes and you agree with him.  There is nothing like finding things in common with that ‘me too!’ moment.

4.     He makes all the arrangements for the dates.  He books the restaurant/picks the bar, picks a time, collects you or organises transport home – separately of course.

5.     He doesn’t invite himself back to yours after each date, trying his luck.

6.     He calls and texts when he says he would.  And they can be short or long messages as long as he asks you how your day was!

7.     If it happens to be your birthday, he had better take you out to dinner or lunch or make some other effort of similar ilk.

8.     He is not afraid to talk about his goals, the future, what he has planned for the weekend, what his next holiday may be.  Anyone afraid of forward planning – chuck!

9.     He looks into your eyes while making love and holds you in his arms after making love.  Altogether now – aaaaahhhh!

10. He simply makes you laugh.  Without trying.  Enough said.

If you've had 6 or more of the above happen to you.....get a subscription to 'Bride' magazine immediately!

I Doooooo!!!!

In the Dog-House

  When invited to dinner for a second date by a nice, friendly, professional guy who I met online, I thought, well, what do I have to lose, right? Wrong! 

  It started off well.  He made all the arrangements, kept me in the loop about timings and where to meet.  When we met, he complimented me on my dress, we shared pleasant chit-chat over dinner, the ambience was great and I was excited about hitting the dance floor showing him some of my salsa moves.  Then during dinner, after a few drinks – it came.  He called me a bitch!  Now I’ve been called some things on dates like ‘sweet’, 'funny’, ‘sexy’, but never ‘bitch’!  He added it on the end of his sentences like “So, shall we order another bottle of wine…….biiittccchhh?!” 

  Excuse me? I said to myself.  This is where I went wrong in hindsight.  I giggled at first, going along with his strange humour and this may have encouraged him to continue.  So more sentences followed by ‘biiiiitttccccch!’ at the end.  Now,  I really don’t think I look like the female dog kind!

  The more he continued, the more I retracted and thought, please get me out of here.  Just as I was about to make my escape, another strange behaviour trait appeared.  He began to flick my head!  Like how you might flick a bug away from your clothes; he was doing this on my head!  And it hurt!  “Ok, can you stop that, because it actually hurts”, I said.

“Oh, you poor princess!”, he said.

Princess is better than bitch, I thought.

A Princess Bitch!

The Curse of Clooney

Don’t do it ladies….but of course we would!

It’s one of the mysteries of the world – the eternal bachelor George Clooney.  He can have any woman in the world but chooses to have a bit of ALL women. 

I’ve hunted down Mr Clooney’s previous ‘relationships’:

Three months here, one year there, nine months, 5 years on and off, not even a month – hello??  This man has some serious issues!  And consequently, so must have the women who have dated him!

Serial womaniser is not the word.  From Kelly Preston (who later went on to marry John Travolta), to a marriage with actress Talia Balsam (matching flowing locks) to Mariella Frostrup (ha, bet you didn’t know that one!), Lisa Snowdon, Renee Zellweger, this man really cannot be tied down in any shape or form.

I may be harsh but Hollywood superstar or not, he is a really sad individual who feels the need to move from woman to woman when the mood suits him.

We keep doing it to ourselves hoping we can change a man, but whether they are 34, 28, 42 or even George’s devilishly handsome 50 years, when a man does not want to commit, there is no hell on earth than can make him do it.  But never, I hear you ask?  Yes, some people are just born this way.

Oh and George is onto it again…Stacy Keibler, a model turned wrestler, if anyone can pin him down she can.

I blame their mothers.

Ever lonely George?

Music is my first love and it will be my last

Pick any mood and you will find a song to fit into it. Some songs are just born to make you happy.  So here is my top ten to lift you off your gloomy ass and make you say - yeah, life is good!  

In no particular order: 

1.  I Feel Good by James Brown*
2.  Loving Each Day by Ronan Keating*
3.  Top of the World by The Carpenters*
4.  Don't Stop Till You Get Enough by Michael Jackson*
5.  Spinning Around by Kylie Minogue*
6.  Crazy in Love by Beyonce*
7.  Beautiful Day by U2*
8.  What A Feeling by Irene Cara*
9.  Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go by Wham!*
10.  I'm So Excited by The Pointer Sisters*


*Well you do, don't you?
*Love each day, not just Saturday and Sunday

*The sweet voice of Karen Carpenter....and her brother

*Just make sure you wear a jacket, some white gloves and moonwalk at the same time

*Just make sure you DO NOT wear the gold hot pants!

*Shake ya booty

*Rock out

*Leotard and gymnastics required

*Gotta have a bit of Wham!

*By this point, you will be very excited!

ENJOY!!

Holiday Happenings

  Going on holiday can be more stressful than staying at home with the British weather.  I mean, forget the 'have I remembered to turn off the hob, feed the cat, double lock the front door?' - it's the packing that can really send you over the edge.  Ever found yourself asking will I need my exfoliator, cotton buds, hair serum, tweezers, nail varnish remover, eye de-puffer, moisturiser, body louffer, whole body over-hauler??!!  I could go on but but you get my drift.

  Why hasn't something been invented that could just DO IT ALL?  Clean, wipe, smooth, remove, cover - surely it cannot be that difficult!

  It would solve a number of issues - luggage weight, under-eye baggage (if like me you are having sleepless nights about packing) and excess body baggage that I'd rather not be taking with me and trying to squeeze it into a two-piece that only gets worn for a fortnight once a year.

  And when there are two of you of the female kind, everything is doubled and spread across the hotel bathroom like Eddie Izzard's backstage dressing room.  Let me ask, has anyone been able to travel with a minimum of 3 beauty products?  If so, how in the world?!

Tanned and Beautiful

Bronzed beauties such as Farrah Fawcett, Elle MacPhearson and Jennifer Lopez have always soaked up the sun (or faked it) to achieve that sun-kissed glow.  It's skin that luminates, appears healthy and catches the light in a way that pale skin just doesn't.  Let's not forget how slimming it can make you look.



Bronzed Beauties

 On my most recent sun-worshipping holiday to Italy, I lay on the sun-lounger gazing lovingly at that round ball of fire to toast (or roast) my pale and uninteresting skin.  It wasn't all fun and games, when I discovered a red strip near my bikini strap - ouch!  Still, it was worth it when I was complimented on my healthy glow.

Before you shout my head off and tell me that I will age quicker and possibly develop melanoma, I will inform you that I used a relatively high sun factor but relaxed it a little to achieve my few weeks of radiant happiness - superficial as it is, I feel pretty damn fabulous! ;)