Damn! Damn! Damn!

    Do I really want to endure another three months of checking emails, winking, favouriting, instang chat - you know the drill - and having the same start up conversations that bore me to tears (Hi, my name is Susan (obviously not!) and blah, blah, blah!).  The answer is no.  So, when I forgot to cancel my automatic renewal on my online dating website, I screamed I'M AN IDIOT! GET ME OUTTA HERE!

   The telephone conversation with a highly-spirited, optimistic chap from overseas went something like this:

Me:  Hello, I am really sorry but I have just got back from a very relaxing Spa break and just missed out on calling you to cancel my online membership.

Mr Optimism:  Hello Ma'am, thank you for your call.  Your next three months started yesterday.

Me:  Right.....well, you see. I really didn't get a chance to call and cancel so I am wondering if you can do that for me? (said very sweetly)

Mr Optimism: Sorry Ma'am, there is nothing we can do.  The money has been taken out.

Me:  I know, but you see, I would really like a refund as I don't want to be online anymore.

Mr Optimism:  There is nothing I can do, Ma'am.

(A few more minutes of me pleading.....then.......)

Me:  IT'S NOT WORKING FOR ME!  I HAVE BEEN ON COUNTLESS DATES AND THE CALIBRE OF MEN ON THERE IS VERY DISAPPOINTING!  Now, I think I am attractive, you can have a look at my profile for yourself.

Mr Optimism:  Yes Ma'am I can see your picture - you look very nice.

Me: Yes I do. (Well, what's a bit of modesty?)

Mr Optimism: I am not sure why you haven't had any luck.

Me:  WELL NEITHER DO I! So you can understand my frustration.

Mr Optimism: Why don't you just have another go and I am sure there is someone out there for you?

Me: (at this point, I am thinking, does this man have any clue?!)  No, I don't think it is the right thing for me so I would appreciate it if you can offer me something for my trouble as I have been a very loyal serial online dater (said in so many words)

Mr Optimism:  I will see what I can do........

(Goes off to speak to his supervisor while I have to listen to 'All by myself' being played.  How very appropriate).

Mr Optimism:  Ma'am, we will offer you one month free after this.

Me:  Well, how very generous of you. Thanks but no thanks. 

Help.....what am I going to do with another 3 months?  I think I would rather eat my left shoe whilst juggling with knives on a tight-rope.