Mr Bad Boy v. Mr Nice Guy

I have never been very good at dating two men at a time. I always considered it to be a thing women do in their twenties. When I have attempted to date two people at once, my heart starts to sway towards one than the other and before you know it, I am left with neither! But….and as many friends of mine tell me, always date more than one guy so you are never hooked on any one of them. So when one lets you down, you know you always have a back -up. I am about to really give this a go. It’s definitely not how I would imagine meeting ‘the one’ but maybe this time one of them could come good.

Male specimen 1 - This is an online date and he is the last guy to have contacted before I said ‘no more’! We had been exchanging messages for a couple of months and his messages were detailed enough and well composed. He’d shown good interest in my life and I liked his photos including the quirky quiff and geeky glasses. Oh, did I mention he has a cute smile? All seems rather good, doesn’t it? We finally got round to meeting. It turns out he is a northerner, he failed to mention that in his profile which I thought was strange. But, I don’t have anything against folk from the north of Watford, I actually found his strong Yorkshire accent quite endearing. What else he failed to mention (in fact, what he lied about) is his age. He is actually 38 as opposed to 35 as stated on his profile. Not an issue for me but clearly, he has an issue with it. Apparently, women over forty hit on men in their late thirties, haha!

The smoking kind

As first dates go, I gave it the thumbs up. He was friendly, flirtatious and cheeky and mixed with a few drinks, I could safely say I enjoyed his company. One thing however, he smokes. I can’t quite bear smokers. I am the type who passes smokers in the street and I either cover my mouth or wave my hand around my face to be rid of the disgusting smell. When he kissed me goodnight, I hesitated due to the cigarette breath. I soon succumbed due to his attractive nature and, despite the stale cigarette smell, the kiss happened to be rather good! Now, I am not done. That is not all he smokes. He says he partakes in a bit of marijuana every now and then. ‘How often?’ I asked. ‘About once a week’, he answered. Hmmm…

So make of that what you will. Our second date was of similar ilk. He took me to dinner and he did one of the sweetest things. If I said something verging on the sensitive side, he leaned across the table and kissed me. Tick! This guy openly talks about wanting to be in a relationship and settling down. Tick! He also happens to have trained as a chef in his youth. Tick! But he would light a cigarette at any outdoor opportunity. X! This Yorkshireman has had a difficult childhood and he uses the ‘f’ word quite loosely in conversation, so as you can imagine, he is a little rough around the edges. I suspect he has had a lot of girlfriends too. I hate to be so judgemental but I would have to class him a rough diamond, potentially being a ‘Bad Boy‘. If we were to become seriously involved, I fear it could all end in tears…

Male Specimen 2 - This chap was a set up from an ex-work colleague. She thinks we would make a good match as we come from similar backgrounds. It turns out we have family connections and I met him once at my uncle’s surprise 50^th - ten years ago! RANDOM! I remotely remember talking to him, particularly the part where he said he went to a Los Angeles acting school after his accountancy degree. Who does that?! Back then, I was young, he was even younger and he wasn’t what I was looking for.

Just too nice?

Ten years on, is he what I am looking for now? Well, he is very nice. And I mean a big, fat, four letter N-I-C-E. On our first date, the man had one alcoholic drink (ok, he was driving) and he spoke eloquently. He talked at length about his family (and mine, bizarrely), his work, holidays….blah, blah, blah. All very predictable and ‘NICE‘. No flirting or cheekiness, quite the opposite to the Yorkshireman, and definitely no swearing. He strikes me as a very homely, studious and hard-working type. He has recently bought his own house which he is renovating and has a masters from Oxford. A bright one. It was no holds barred, I got the low down on most areas of his life. But then where is the mystery?

I am being judgemental again. I am painting a picture of him visiting his mum most evenings and getting home cooked meals. This well-educated man has had a good upbringing, intelligent and friendly but I think he might be a bit too pure and nicey-nicey for me. I would like a bit of unpredictability and intrigue but it all feels a bit too straight-laced with Mr Nice Guy. 

Drawn to a rebel 

Can you tell which one has got my attention at this early stage? Yes, Mr Bad Boy. I already know he is going to excite me and bring out my devilish side but would he be prepared to commit? Can I trust him when he says he wants a relationship? Mr Nice-Guy has already been vetted out for me by my work colleague who has known him since university days. He is trustworthy and squeaky clean. Despite knowing all this, I am once again drawn to the rebel. Question is, what will this rebel cause for me…only time will tell…